Christmas Eve

In the early evening, my family (my parents, my two brothers and I) would have a meal with the posh tablecloth (as opposed to the everyday, plastic, wipeable one) on the table, with the posh Hornsea pottery plates, and silver cutlery that came out once or twice a year. Mum and Dad were given these when they got married. We would maybe have a meal of “picky bits” or perhaps a Chinese. The rest of the year we would drink water, but the fancy wine glasses would come out and there would be apple Schloer (how posh, we thought!). But I didn’t like fizzy drinks so I had regular apple juice as a treat. Mum might have had one glass of dry white wine. Up until the age of about 11 years old, we all used to dress up smartly. I hated dresses but I yielded to wearing them on this occasion. Being together, all five of us as a family, was my favourite thing in the world, so I could relent in my refusing-to-wear-a-dress stubbornness for this purpose and forget for a while that I was wearing a dress!

Next, we would be onto the Christmas Eve games. We would always start with ‘Consequences’ in the sitting room, on the settee and armchairs facing each other. Mum would give us each a piece of paper and a pen. If you don’t know how to play Consequences, first everyone writes down a man/boy’s name, which can be fictional or real, then you fold down the paper a little bit, just covering over the name so that nobody else sees it. Then you pass your piece of paper to the person next to you on your left, and receive the piece of paper from the person on your right. You then write a woman/girl’s name (real or fictional) on the new piece of paper, fold the paper down again a little bit more, just enough to cover over the name, and pass the paper to your left again and receive from your right. Then you would write down a place (you can be as specific or imaginative as you want) where the man and the woman met, fold the paper down a bit more, covering over the place name, and passing the paper to your left again. Next would be ‘What He Said to Her’ (just one sentence), fold and cover, pass along. Then ‘What She Said To Him in reply’ (one sentence) – fold and pass along. Then ‘What Happened Next’ (one sentence) – fold and pass along. Lastly was ‘And The World Said…’ (one sentence). Then you’d fold and pass along one final time and receive from your right. You’d unfold all the folds and each person would read out their piece of paper. I remember Dad especially chuckling away to himself as he thought of the narrative that he was writing and then his laughter as the jumbled up stories were revealed and read. Some would be duds but mostly they were hilarious. Especially if there were family in-jokes or sometimes if we’d used each other as the names and it ended up ridiculous! I think that Consequences was all of our favourite thing, all cosy there together having fun. It was our special Christmas Eve thing. We usually did a few more rounds of Consequences. Then we would play charades. I always loved that. Next, we would play cards; we all got to choose one game each. I always chose Old Maid, but I also loved Knock Out Whist and Sevens. Go Fish and Cheat were good too. However, I might have groaned if anyone chose Rummy (“boring!”)!

Then we would usually end it all with a board game. I would always try to persuade everyone to go for Dingbats, Cluedo or Taboo, as those were my faves. But Dingbats was banned when I was about 12 years old because I was too good at it so it became too boring/annoying for everyone else! Dingbats will always be my favourite board game though. I found Monopoly dull but I would submit to playing it if I got out-voted. As long as I got to play as the dog, I was happy to just be together. However, The Worst option was the board game ‘Risk’. My brothers and Dad loved it but Mum and I did not. It could go on for aaaaages and was incredibly tedious. I would sometimes agree to play but sometimes Mum and I would duck out of that one.

I don’t remember ever believing in Father Christmas. Nobody ever told me that he didn’t exist but nobody ever told me that he did either. When I was young, I assumed that it was just a sort of collective imaginary game that everyone joined in with. For example, leaving mince pies and a glass of milk by the fireplace for Father Christmas, and carrots for the reindeer. Then on Christmas morning, finding crumbs from the mince pies, the milk mostly drunk, and nibbles taken from the carrots, along with a letter from “Father Christmas”. I never thought for one minute that it was real but it was fun all the same and I loved the tradition of it. I don’t think that I actually realised that other children genuinely believed in Father Christmas; I assumed that they were just playing along too. Even now, if you asked me, I would say that in the nineties it wasn’t such a big thing and that children didn’t really believe in Father Christmas in the UK. I’m beginning to doubt myself now and wonder if my contemporaries did actually believe and I was just the unusual one. I do think that it has become more of a thing to “keep the magic alive” for children now until a lot older. I would think it strange if anyone over the age of, say, ten years old genuinely believed that Father Christmas was real.

In the night, Dad would leave a Christmas sack of presents and a stocking at the end of our beds. We would then haul these downstairs in the morning to the sitting room. Due to the fact that I’m an utter nutter, I wouldn’t ever, even as a teenager, be able to sleep on Christmas Eve. Not even a minute. I didn’t do well with anticipation or with adrenaline pumping, so by the morning I was always a bit pale, shaky, feeling awful and a bit sick, from all the adrenaline and no sleep. I did not enjoy that feeling at all so I came to dread Christmas a bit in that sense. It was the same on my birthday. It was the waiting, knowing something was about to happen. It didn’t matter that it was a good, exciting thing, not a bad thing; the awful adrenalised anticipation feeling was the same. I tried so so hard to sleep and it infuriated me no end that no matter what I tried (deep breathing, relaxation exercises, prayer etc.), I never managed to get one second of sleep on Christmas Eve. So even though there were happy things to come, I was never in a very good state and it was a bit of a haze but was determined to enjoy it anyway. I think once the presents were out of the way and done, then I could start to calm down a little but this didn’t work if you were then seeing your Mum’s family and Dad’s family in the days following where there would be more presents. I didn’t sleep for days!

Christmas Day

Despite the aforementioned no sleep, I was determined to enjoy my favourite thing of all. At 6am (or maybe earlier if I could persuade my family to get up earlier, since I was raring to go, having been awake and waiting impatiently all night), we all went down to the sitting room with our Christmas sacks and stockings, sitting on the settee or armchairs. We took turns opening presents, youngest to oldest, so we could all see what everyone got! So my younger brother would open one present while everyone watched, then me, then my older brother, then Mum and then Dad. We went around like this until all the presents were opened. This was my favourite thing about Christmas. It wasn’t so much about the presents themselves, it was about being together, all five of us, all cosy. That feeling of love and togetherness. I just wanted to stay in that moment forever.

There would be wrapping paper everywhere. From when I was 14 years old onwards, we also had our golden retriever, Harry, with us. He used to get SO excited. He loved us all being together too and his strong tail wagged constantly. He used to go crazy running in little circles through all the discarded wrapping paper and then it was a task to try to clear up the wrapping paper before he shredded it to pieces!

There were a couple of Christmases where we stayed at home but most times, I remember having breakfast and then jumping in the car, having packed our bags the day before. When we lived in Colchester, Southwold, or Martlesham Heath, it would be a trip down the A12 and then M25, to our Nanny and Granddad’s house (Mum’s parents) in Ashford (the one in Middlesex, not the one in Kent) when we were younger and then Staines when they moved house. All my Mum’s family lived in that area. We would have Christmas lunch there. My Mum’s brother and sister and their families would come around too.

It would be roast turkey with all the trimmings: roast potatoes, stuffing, sausages wrapped in bacon, Yorkshire puddings, gravy, bread sauce (I didn’t eat that) and a bazillion different vegetables (I skipped most vegetables because I counted Christmas as a day off from eating things that I didn’t like but I liked roast parsnips and onions so I ate those). Of course, we pulled crackers before the meal and wore our hats from inside them. I had a Sara Lee Chocolate Gateau with pouring cream for pudding every year (I didn’t like Christmas pudding), which was delicious.

When we were much younger, us children sat at little tables on the floor but when we were a little bit older, we graduated and all sat together with the adults.

After lunch was opening the presents from Nanny and Granddad and from my aunts and uncles. That was always glorious chaos. Everyone opening everything all at once usually, not individually with everyone watching. That was fun.

We spent the afternoon playing with our cousins and perusing our new presents. The television was sometimes on in the background while the adults talked.

In the evening there was a magnificent buffet, either at Nanny and Granddad’s or we would all transfer over to Uncle Tony and Auntie Muriel’s house in Ashford (they were actually my Great Uncle (Granddad’s brother) and Great Aunt but we didn’t call them that). My Mum’s cousins Paul and Andrew, with their families, would be there too. So it was a large gathering, what with my grandparents, my other aunts and uncles and cousins and us.

There was usually a game of Trivial Pursuit and Jenga, mixed in to the evening somewhere, while some of the adults drank. Auntie Muriel and/or Nanny would always make an amazing Fruit Charlotte, which I loved.

We then went back to stay the night at Nanny and Granddad’s.

Boxing Day

We jumped back in the car to spend Boxing Day with my Dad’s family, usually at Uncle Michael and Auntie Ingrid’s house in Fleet – aunts, uncles and cousins were there. I don’t remember Grandad Rowbory much because he died when I was very young but I’ve seen a video of him there at the gathering when I was a baby. I don’t have a memory of Oma (Dad’s mother) being there, since she lived in Holland, but maybe she was there sometimes (I don’t remember!). I do remember that everything would stop when she rang up from Holland though and we all would gather around the phone. She would pass on her love to us all.

It was a late lunch but it was always very grand. I remember that Uncle Michael once went outside in the bitter cold to barbecue a duck! But there were lots of foods, meats and sauces on offer. My favourite food in the world is homemade Coronation Sauce and that is something that was always there. Somebody had always made an amazing chocolate mousse too (I didn’t like Christmas pudding so I had the mousse instead). After lunch, we all gathered around the Christmas tree in the foyer (there were ten of us cousins on my Dad’s side), opening presents. Then it would be the Boxing Day walk. I loved that part. Coats and wellies, plus nice and bracing outside!

Then we would either go back to Nanny and Granddad’s house to stay another night, or travel home.

27th-31st December

This time was always a bit of blur of Christmas TV and films (our chosen programmes in neon highlighter in The Radio Times, of course), playing with new gifts and eating nice food. Or, when I reached secondary school, it was a time of homework or coursework, then in Sixth Form it was a time of frantic revision for the AS-Level and A-Level exam modules that were in January! And that was it. Christmas over. Until next year!

My Top 5 Favourite Christmas films: Nativity!, Elf, The Preacher’s Wife, That Christmas, Love Actually
(I’m not really a fan of Christmas films but the above ones are the best of them, in my opinion)

Top 5 Favourite Christmas songs/carols: Carol of the Bells, Do You Hear What I Hear?, O Holy Night, Fairytale of New York, In The Bleak Midwinter

What are your favourites? Leave a comment to let me know!

If you’ve enjoyed reading this, please consider watching the video below, where I turn the camera on myself to show what my life is like and explain why I need urgent and essential neurosurgery in New York (fundraising page here: gofundme.com/savejenny):

<p>The post Christmas reminiscences first appeared on Jenny Rowbory.</p>

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